If you can’t get close to other people, it is because you don’t know how to be close to your own inner child. The child inside you that is scared and hurting. Be there for your inner child.
I read that it doesn’t matter how old you are, there is a little child in all of us that needs love and acceptance. Most of us have ignored that child for a long time.
Every age that we have been is within us. As children when something went wrong, we tended to believe that there was something wrong with us. Children develop the idea that if they could only do right, then parents or whoever would love them. So whenever the child wants something and doesn’t get it, he or she believes , “I’m not good enough. I’m defective.”
As we grow older we reject certain parts of ourselves. We begin a war with ourselves and criticize ourselves the way we were criticized as children. The self-doubt and criticism is the result of old programming it is not the reality of your being. They are not the truth of your existence.
We need to begin to make ourselves whole and accept every part of who we are including the person that was foolish and silly, funny looking and the part that was scared.
Healing The Hurts Of The Past
Connect with the little lost child inside of you and let him know you care. Tell him “I care. I love you. I really love you.” Maybe you’ve been saying this to the big person, the adult inside of you. Start talking to the little child inside of you. Visualize you are taking him by the hand and go everywhere together for a few days and see what wonderful, joyful experiences you have.
Communicate with that part of yourself. What are the messages you want to hear? Sit down quietly, close your eyes and talk to your inner child. If you haven’t talked to him in a long time then it may take a few times before the child believes that you really want to talk to it. Be persistent: “I want to talk to you. I want to see you. I want to love you.”. You will eventually connect. You may see the child inside you, you may feel it or you may hear it. One of the first statements that you can make to your inner child is an apology. Say you are sorry that you haven’t talked to it in all these years, or that you are sorry for scolding it for so long. Ask the child what frightens him. Ask what you can do to make him happy. Start out simple. Be consistent. If you can take a few moments to connect with the little person inside of you, life is going to be a lot better.
The beliefs that you learned when you were little are still inside of the child. If your parents had rigid ideas and you’re very hard on yourself or tend to build walls, your child is probably still following your parents’ rules. If you continue to pick on yourself for every mistake, it must be very scary for your inner child to wake up each morning.
If you are refusing to take care of the little child then you are stuck in self-righteous resentment. Invariably, it means that there is still someone to forgive. So what is it you haven’t forgiven yourself for? What do you need to let go of? Well, whatever it is, just let it go.
No matter what your early childhood was like, the best or the worst, you and only you are in charge of your life now. Love is the biggest eraser. Love erases even the deepest most painful memories because love goes deeper than anything else.